2017 Edition: ‘How to Prepare a Turkey for Thanksgiving’

“I will go to a farm, probably Grandpa Rick’s farm. I will look in the barn. I will go grab a turkey with my hands. I will carry it in the house alive. I’ll cut him with a sharp knife at Grandpa Rick’s house because not my house. I don’t have a farm and I think this has to be done at a farm, but I’m not sure because I have never done this before. I’ll cut the feathers off with the same knife. I will put the feathers in the garbage. I will take the turkey to my house and he’s gonna’ be dead. I’ll grab a pan and cut some meat off — all of the meat off and put the meat in the oven on hot. No, medium. There is going to be a timer that will go off. Then I go set the table.I will get the turkey out with my winter gloves on. Then we will eat it. Grandpa Rick, Grandpa Larry, Grandma Lynn, Grandma Neeccee, Mom, Dad, my sister and me. My baby brother will eat formula. We will pray. Then we eat. Then we go wash hands and do other stuff. That is the end.” — Dax Anderson

“I will go to a shop in Marshall like Wal-Mart and buy a turkey. I don’t want to go hunting because I can’t. You have to be 10 or older to hunt. I think a turkey will cost $56. I will take it home and bake it in the microwave. It will cook for 13 minutes. When it is done it will be warm or hot. I will take it out of the microwave and put it on a plate with a fork. I will make normal potatoes and stuffing and green beans and pumpkin rolls for dessert. My whole family will eat together. I will clean the dishes and put on my pajamas and we will watch TV or play on the iPad. When Thanksgiving is over, it will be December and that is when Christmas is!” —Laney Coequyt

“I will go in the field — a turkey field where the deer are. My dad shot a buck deer with one horn pointing down. I will go there. I will bring my dad with me and he can shoot the turkey because I am too little. I have to be big like my dad to shoot a gun. My dad will cut the turkey up and he will cut our watermelon up too. We have a watermelon that needs to be cut. I will put the turkey in the oven for like five minutes. Then I will take it out with hand gloves that don’t get your hands hot. Then I will use a fork to cut it up. My mom and dad and grandpa and grandma and McKenzie and Uncle Luke and Aunt Tessa and Alex will all come and eat the turkey with the watermelon and grapes and other stuff. When Thanksgiving is done, we will all go home.” — Aiden DePestel

“I will go to Grandpa Gossen’s farm. I will go and find the turkeys. They are kinda over by the swings but you have run a little far to get there. I will grab it by its legs when I find one. I will shoot it with a gun! My daddy will help me with the shooting part. Now I will bring it inside to Grandma Gossen’s house to cook it. My Grandpa has a special place to take the feathers off first. I will get it ready there. I will shave them off with a knife. Then I will cook it in the oven for 20 seconds on 49 hot. When the oven beeps it is done. I will put on oven gloves or mittens so my fingers don’t get burned and take it out of the oven. I will cut it up. Then we will put it on plates and eat it with mashed potatoes and gravy and corn and that’s it. Oh wait, pumpkin pie for dessert. My grandma and grandpa and aunts and uncles and my mom and dad and my brother and my sister will all eat it. Then we will wash the table and stuff and everyone will go home because dinner is done. When we get home we will take naps.” — Reagan DeSmet

“I would go to the woods and shoot a turkey with a gun. Well, my dad will have to shoot it because I am too little. I will take it to the house and cut it with a knife. I’m not too little for that. Then I will cook it in the stove for two minutes. When I hear beeps, I will take it out. No, my dad will take it out because I’m too little and I will get burned. Dad will cut it up and put it on plates with broccoli and lettuce and carrots and celery. After we eat, we will go play house. Brek will help me and Dad do the dishes later.” — Mia Fier

“I would go to Grandpa Mike’s farm. I would get a net and catch a turkey and I would give it to my Grandpa so he could put it in the freezer. When we want to eat it, we will take it out and cook it in the oven in a pan. It will cook for eight minutes. My grandpa and grandma have to take it out with gloves on because I am just a kid that is five. Grandma will cut it because I told you I am a kid and kids can’t cut with knives or they’ll cut their fingers off. Everyone will eat the turkey and chicken and french fries and tacos. When everyone is done, I will have my sisters wash the dishes because I can’t reach the sink. It is too big. Then we will go to bed.” — Braxton Hennen

“I will go to Grandpa Steve’s house to get a turkey because he has cows and stuff. Grandpa will help me find one. I will run after it and shoot it with a gun. But, I can’t shoot a gun because I’m too little. Grandpa can, I guess. I’d miss it if I tried anyway. Grandpa will carry it back to his farm because there will be blood all over it and Grandpa always gets his hands dirty so it will be ok. I will bake the turkey in the oven for 100 minutes. The oven will go “ding-ding” and then I will take it out of the oven with Grandma Sue’s mittens. I will stuff it with stuffing. Then, I will take the turkey to my house and make corn and potatoes. We will drink water. Everyone will go home when we are done eating….all my family that came over that doesn’t live with me will leave. It’s all done. That’s it.” — Harper Hjermstad

“I will go look in the long grass with my dad. When we find a turkey, my dad will shoot it with a gun. My dad has to do it because I am not even the same height. You have to be tall. We will put the turkey in the back of the truck. It will have blood on it so we will just have to leave it outside. When the blood warms up it will just go away so then we will bring it inside. I will put it in the oven in a big pot. It will cook for 15 seconds. Then it will be done. I will just know when it is done because we have eaten a turkey before. I will put a glove on my hand and it won’t get burned to take the turkey out. Then we will cut it up and I will eat it with my bare hands. We will have the turkey with chicken and M&Ms and Skittles and Pop Tarts and fruit snacks and French fries. Easton and Gage and Dad and Mom will eat it with me. Trigger will have to eat cat food because he has to eat that. He is a cat. When Thanksgiving is done, we will go to sleep.” — Brooks Johnston

“I will go to Brad’s Market and buy a big turkey. They are free! I will take it home and put it on a pan like those pans in the cupboard. A big pan because my turkey is really big! I will take it to my new grill outside. It will cook for 20 minutes. I will need help with the grill because it’s burning hot for me so I can’t touch it. I’ll take the turkey inside but the other food takes a long time to cook it all. We will have stuffing, salad, pie, raspberries and that’s all. My whole family will eat it and my friend, Laney. She’s my really best friend. Kennedi will do the dishes, Mom will do exercising, Dad will lay on the couch and watch football, Keaton will go to the Dalager’s and Grayson will play with me and Laney. Then……. Christmas!” — Hadley Jurrens

“I would go somewhere that turkeys are at because I don’t have any. I would find a turkey farm where there are lots of turkeys. Oh, wait, Timmy. I think Timmy has turkeys. I will go there. I will kill it with my brother’s bow and arrow because it can kill stuff or I can use a BB gun. Both would work, right? I will peel the skin off and burn it. Then, I would cook the turkey on the grill. Maybe we could have potatoes maybe gravy maybe pizza. My whole family can eat it and when we are all done eating we will clean up and go back outside.” — Max Laleman

“I will have to shoot a turkey in the woods at my house. I will bring it inside and cut the feathers off and cook it on the stove. I will put it in a big pan. It will have to cook for a little bit. I will set a timer for 5 minutes. Then, I will take it out and put it on the table. Mom will do that because it will be too hot for me to do with the gloves on. It could go through the gloves. Then I will put it on the table with the stuffing and potatoes and apples and milk. My cousins and aunts and uncles and grandpas and grandmas will all come and eat. We will clean up a little bit and then play toys. When Thanksgiving is all done, it will be Christmas.” — Etta Larson

“I don’t know how to do this but I guess I could go outside and find a turkey barn and buy one from there. I will shoot the turkey with my dad’s gun. He has guns to shoot birds that poop in fields and in our swimming pool. When the bird is dead, I will cut the feathers off with a saw. Then I will cut the head off and feet off and arms off. Then I will cook him in the oven. Next, you turn the oven off and open the door and pull the turkey out. I will get plates and cut the turkey into little pieces and start eating with a fork. I will make stuffing and mashed potatoes and pizza. My family will eat it after we pray for people who died. When we are done, we will clean dishes and go and play. We will clean the house and everyone leaves but we have to remember to give them their jackets.” — Jacob Loyson

“I would go to my cousin’s barn. They have cows so maybe they would have turkeys. When the turkey isn’t looking, you grab it. I will put dirty gloves on-working gloves. I will chop it with a saw. Then it won’t be alive. Now I will make it into a turkey. I will cut off the feathers and put them in the garbage. I will put the turkey on the grill and wait for it to not look like a turkey anymore. Then I will take it off the grill and put it in the house on the table with mashed potatoes and pizza and juice. Mom and Dad and Lane and Kylie and Jakey will eat the food I made. We will eat and then some other people will come over like Grandmas and Grandpa and cousins to eat. We will all clean up the mess and then do the stuff we all want to do. Can I be done telling you this because I have to sneeze my nose?” — Mariah Loyson

“I would go to the forest. I will catch a turkey in a net and bring it home. I will shoot it with a gun. My dad has a gun. Lots of guns. I think Dad will shoot it because I am too little to shoot guns. I will cut the feathers off with a knife and put it in the oven. I will cook it for 5 minutes on 10. I will check on it until it is done. My dad will take it out of the oven with turkey gloves on his hands. I will take pieces of it off and put it on plates with grapes and ketchup and hot dogs. Everyone will help me eat it. When we are all done we will play toys. Me and my brother Logan will clean up the mess. When Thanksgiving is done there will be snow on the ground and it will be winter.” — Levi Pohlen

“I would buy a turkey at Wal-Mart for $100. I will take it home and cook it in the oven for 15 minutes. When the music player in the kitchen beeps, it will be done cooking. Then I will take it out with oven gloves so I don’t get burned on my hands. I will cut it up with a knife. We will eat it with mashed potatoes and gravy. Me and my sister and Mom and Dad but not my brother because he is too young. He is only 8 months. He has to eat baby food. When we are done eating we will watch TV and go to bed. My mom and dad will clean up because I am just too young for that stuff.”— Quinn Pohlen

“I will go to the turkey barns. Just a turkey barn in the southeast. I will use a gun and shoot it at the turkey so it dies. Then, I will take it home and cut all the feathers and waddle off. That stuff is icky and you don’t eat it. Then, I will put the meat in the oven for one minute. When the timer says it’s done, I will take it out with mittens – cook mittens – not the outside kind of mittens. I will set it on the table and cut it up. We can eat it with NOT stuffing! Have you seen stuffing? I saw that stuff and it was green! ICK! I could make tomatoes and lettuce and some more leaves that you put into salads and cranberries. We could add some peanuts too. My family will all eat the feast. But first we will pray before we eat. My mom knows how to clean really good so she will clean up all the mess. Then, everyone says goodbye and goes home. When Thanksgiving is over and everyone is gone we can eat the rest of the turkey.” — Nevaeh Schreiber

I will go to Grandma Betsy’s house. She makes turkeys or maybe she gets them from the store. I can ask my mom. I don’t want an alive turkey because they would mess around and run around all over the place. I want a dead one. I’ll take it to the stove at my house. I will put it in the oven for 20 minutes. There’s a thermometer that will tell me if it is too hot or too cold. I will take it out of the oven with stove gloves. I’ll put it on plates so we can eat it with forks. Maybe mashed potatoes and maybe some apple juice and carrots for my brother Creed. Creed Stassen is my brother. I don’t like carrots. Everyone will eat and then I’ll go play after I clean up the messy dishes. When Thanksgiving is done, I go back to school.” — Jagger Stassen

“I would buy a turkey at a store. Maybe Wal-Mart? I will pay $30. I will take it home and cook it in the oven for 50 minutes on 35. It will “ding” when it is done. You need those “not burning gloves” for your hands. We will eat it with stuffing and my dad always puts juice in the turkey so I guess that too. That’s all we have for Thanksgiving. My mom will do dishes and I will play with my toys.” ­— Lilyann Stefansen “I would go to somebody’s house. Maybe Papa or Nana’s house have turkeys. Or, if they don’t have them, they can get one from somebody. When I get one, I will kill it with the sharpest knife. I will poke it. Then I will cut the legs and head off and cook it on the stove for six minutes. At the end of the day, it will be done cooking. We will eat it with pizza, grapes, pepperoni, and pineapple. Don’t forget the strawberry pie at the end. Papa and Nana and Mommy and Daddy and Rosie and Lily and baby Violet will all be there. Papa and Nana will clean up the mess because IT IS THEIR TABLE!!!” — Jacob Swoboda

“I will go outside by the trees. Turkeys will be laying in the dirt. When my mom tells me it is time to come inside, I will tell her I found a turkey in the dirt. Then I will color a turkey. I’ll put the other turkey on a pan in the oven but it will have to come out before we eat it. Open the oven. Don’t touch it with your hands. Put a frying pan glove on. Close the oven door. We will eat it. Me and Shay and Jace and Mommy and Daddy. We will have fruit and other food on the plate. Mommy will clean up the mess and I will help her. I do it all the time.”— Aubree Timm

“I will go to Marshall and buy a turkey….an already dead one. I will take it home and put it in a pan and cook it on the stove for 64 minutes. We have a little alarm and when it rings, it will be done cooking. We will have to wait until it cools off and then we can eat it with potatoes and lettuce and meat. I will clean the plates and wash them. Then we all do normal stuff. Normal playing and normal eating because Thanksgiving will be over.”’ — Angelica Towne

“I will look in our grove. The turkeys might be in the middle cause’ that is the spot where not a lot of people come. I will shoot it with my brother’s BB gun. I don’t have a BB gun. Maybe when I am 6. I am 5 now. I’ll look for it if it gets away. I’ll pick it up and bring it into my garage or something because it will be all bloody and you wouldn’t want it in the house. I’ll pluck the feathers and give them to my cats for good hunting practice. Then they’ll learn how to catch mice. I will cut the meat in little strips, put them in a pan and cook them on the stove for 13 minutes on 14 degrees. When the timer goes off, let it cool down and then you can eat it with stuffing and mashed potatoes with corn on top. We can use our frozen sweet corn that we planted. And we will have beans and pie, even though I don’t like pie. Pumpkin pie for the people who like that. I like chicken potpies. My whole family – Grandmas and Grandpas and Aunts and Uncles and Cousins all will eat this. Everybody will help clean up because Christmas is next. Not right away, but in a month.” — Harmon Van Keulen