FROM MY BACKYARD

By Byron Higgin, Mascot Publisher

There was the time in a famous restaurant that’s part of a chain, when I needed to go to the bathroom.
My wife had decided the same so she went on ahead.
The first thing I noticed when I got inside was the lack of those men’s “urinals” hanging on the wall.
It seemed a bit strange so I began to look around, thinking, “What’s wrong with these people, they don’t even have urinals.”
Suddenly I head a familiar voice from inside one of the booths where you sit down.
“Byron?” came the familiar voice.
The woman inside had seen my shoes as I walked close to the booth and suddenly the truth dawned on me.
I was in the women’s bathroom.
“Okay, okay, I can handle this,” I thought. So I tried to discretely leave the room.
But right outside was a counter and two gentlemen were sitting there eating and drinking coffee.
I looked at them, smiled and shrugged my shoulders as I walked out.
They gave me a really weird look, as though to say, “Look at that weirdo, he walked into the women’s can.”
I didn’t say much to my wife later, but she kept smirking at me.

Zany Moment No. 2: My wife wanted to go shopping in a town about 60 miles from where we lived because she’d never shopped in that town.
We had a nice day shopping, eating and looking around.
Little did we know what was in store for us when we started driving home in the dark.
Just outside of a small town I saw this deer flash in front of my truck. I tried to stop, but I hit it.
I stopped immediately, got out and saw the deer get up and run into the woods.
The truck had slight damage, but not too much so I continued to drive toward home after assuring passersby we were okay.
Not too much different there.
That is, until we got about four miles from home.
We were on a county highway when suddenly I saw something black come out of the ditch and head for my truck.
I tried to slam on the brakes, but it was too late. It hit the door of the car where I was driving with full force and actually jolted the truck.
My wife and I were stunned.
I turned the truck around and with the bright lights tried to see what hit me.
There in the road, pulling itself off the road into the ditch was a black bear.
Apparently his back legs were broken so he was pulling himself away.
I stayed long enough to make sure he got off the road, then drove to town and found a policeman to tell him about the bear.
I told my wife I was going straight home to pull the covers over my head after hitting a deer and a bear in the same night. It’s a strange and zany tale, but true!

LAUGH A LITTLE: Two dumb fishermen decided to rent a boat on a lake for their favorite sport.
After fishing for four hours at various places around the lake with no luck at all they decided to try one more spot before calling it quits.
Suddenly things started to happen, and they caught their limit inside of 20 minutes.
Jim said, “Hey we should mark this spot, so next time we will know where to come)”.
Joe says good idea, and he took out a can of spray paint and made a large X on the floor of the boat ... to mark the spot.
With that Jim said, “Why did you do that? Now anyone who rents this boat will know where to fish.”
(This joke came from “coolfunnyjokes.com”).

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: As my Ole Pappy used to say when I told him I was going to sing him a song, “Sing the tune ‘Far Far Away’!”
I don’t think Ole Pappy liked my singing.