FROM MY FRONT WINDOW
By Byron Higgin, Mascot Publisher
Funny how your disposition is created by the temperature.
Which means, of course, Minnesotans must have different dispostions than those in the southern states, right?
Not long ago someone sent me this little note (apparently from the Internet) that I didn’t invent or write myself. Just the same, I thought It was cute, so here is how we (Minnesotans) and others relate to temperatures:
65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Minnesota plant gardens.
60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Minnesota sunbathe.
50 above zero:
Italian and English cars won’t start.
People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.
40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.
35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.
20 above Zero:
People in Miami all die.
People in Minnesota close the windows.
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.
10 below zero:
The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.
20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.
30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Minnesotans get upset because they can’t start the snowmobile.
40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Minnesota start saying ... ’Cold enough fer ya?’
50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Minnesota public schools will open two hours late.
Dawson folks not so dumb
You know, the Minneota Rotarians hold Whopper Feeds before football games.
They hold one in Dawson, too! Only these folks are really smart. They’re having one at homecoming Friday, with Minneota in town.
They know two things: Minneota brings lots of fans and Minneotans love to eat.
Fourth grade teacher wins
Joel Dudgeon of Wabasso won the Frost Five run in Minneota last Saturday.
“I thought it would be fun,” said the public school teacher. A Wabasso grad, Dudgeon says he’s run 57,000 miles. Wow. He just ran into Minneota and kept right on running, until he’d won, I think.
LAUGH A LITTLE: Here’s some quick one-liners from Internet sources, about animals. Enjoy!
•Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
•Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?
•Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
•Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?
To the retail store.
•Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: As my Ole Pappy used to say, “The harder you work, the behinder you get.”
Ole Pappy worked hard and just didn’t seem to be able to catch up. He did most of his work the hard way with old printing equipment. Maybe if he’d been in the computer age he wouldn’t have felt he was “behinder” all the time.